Tuesday, January 16, 2007

My Fine Is.....

This meme and its title have been lifted from the irrepressibly warped fuzzbox. OK he can be witty too, of course, but that would have detracted from my attempt to share the name joke with absolutely everybody.

Still don't get it? See me after class. Bring fruit.

Below is a list of *ahem* activities, each awarded a penalty in dollars. You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25


My fine is: $305 and change. Not a total pervert then, but not as boring as I thought.

You?

I tag all of you, of course.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

$295.10

Unless (ahem) my maths is wrong.

11:04 AM  
Blogger zilla said...

$380 & change. Glad I went back through with the calculator and saved myself $15.

And here I thought I was kind of prissy...

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my. $635.10

Oh my.

7:47 PM  
Blogger annie said...

485.10... wow.
i don't know whether to be embarrassed or proud.
this was a most unique meme, cheryl
thanks for the laughs.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Lizard said...

I think I was about $375 and change. But I am sick, and was doing the math in my head.

I wanna know what Miss C's been up to! Ahem!

2:27 AM  
Blogger beckyboop said...

Annie and Cellania beat me out. Mine was 480.10. Does this make us wild women?

4:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most of that was decades ago! I'm lucky to remember any of it!

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fun blog! (I came over from cozy shack and dharma bums)

I came up with $430.60 and I'm kinda proud of that although if I were to add each time I did certain things on the list, the amount would go up to six figures!

12:49 AM  
Blogger fineartist said...

485.10, and I cannot believe I scored higher than my sister...I'm goin' back in and doing he math again...

7:52 AM  
Blogger fineartist said...

490.10...son of a....

and I guess we all know who of us peed in a pool...heh.

7:57 AM  
Blogger sidhe said...

oooo, $470,EVEN (my story & I'm stickin' to it)

8:02 PM  
Blogger D. Prince said...

475.60!

I'm going to start repenting right now!

9:48 PM  
Blogger sidhe said...

aarrr, hev ye everr hed sex in CHURRCH, Billy? now, therrr's cause fer repentin!

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

$445 + change...

Just below average it seems

:)

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to know who decided the fine for smokin' pot is higher than the fine for droppin' acid!

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

$375.60. Yes, 60 cents means I've peed in the pool and kissed a complete stranger.

10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, glad i stumbled across this site. yer sense of har-dee-har-har, is just my bp gurlfiend [lol]. the one thing we really have in common, her and i, is this freaky and wicked understanding that everyone is a conttradition and all we are trying to do is make of way thru life without getting to many bruises and when the good/bad Lord/Lordess calls for us, anne and i will hold hand and jump over the canyon. here is a little lover letter i gave her.
joe

I GOT THIS LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY

You think you're gonna take her away
With your money and your cocaine
Keep thinkin' that her mind is gonna change
But I know everything is okay

She's gonna listen to her heart
It's gonna tell her what to do
She might need a lot of lovin'
But she don't need you

You want me to think that I'm being used
You want her to think it's over
Can't you see it don't matter what you do
Buddy you don't even know her
You think you're gonna take her away
With your money and your cocaine
Keep thinkin' that her mind is gonna change
But I know everything is okay

She's gonna listen to her heart
It's gonna tell her what to do
She might need a lot of lovin'
But she don't need you

You want me to think that I'm being used
You want her to think it's over
Can't you see it don't matter what you do
Buddy you don't even know her


I GOT THIS LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY
FROM SOME GUY WHO IS NOW SEEING AN OLD GURLFRIEND
I WAS ONCE WITH BACK IN THE DAY
I READ THE WORDS AND COULD SEE HIM AS HE WROTE ABOUT
WHAT HE SAW AS AN ATTACT ON HIS SPACE
WHEN ITS NEVER ABOUT THAT
GUYS ALWAYS THINK THAT THEY KNOW HOW WOMEN WANT US TO ACT
BUT MOST THE TIME WE MISS THE MOST IMPORTANT FACT
AND THAT’S TO TALK TO YER BABE WITH LOVE AND LISTEN
TO WHAT SHE FEELS ABOUT IT AND WHAT THEY SAY
WHEN U FLY OFF THE HANDLE WITH GESTURES OF BEING THE MAN
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS AND TAKING A STAND
SOMETIMES IT COMES OFF TO THE VERY PERSON ITS ALL ABOUT
THAT YOU CONTROL THEIR LIFE AND ONLY THEY DO THAT
AND I KNOW THAT BECAUSE A WOMAN SHOWED ME A WORLD
WHERE SOME PEOPLE LIVE BECAUSE OF TO WHO THEY WERE BORN
WHERE CHAIRS AND TABLES SPIN AROUND AS YOU STAND AT THE DOOR
WHERE YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAYING I WISH I COULD SLOW THIS DOWN
AND U DO THAT UNTIL YOUR VOICE GETS LOST INSIDE THE SOUND
OF RUSHING THOUGHTS AND MERRY GO ROUNDS AND FEELS SO GRAND
WHERE SUDDENLY FOCUS AND REASON ISN’T THE PRIORITY FOR YOU
ITS SOMETHING YOU KNOW BUT CAN’T GET IT TO MAKE A STAND
YOU JUST RIDE IT OUT AS CLARITY DIMS AND LIFE
BLURS AND TAKES U AWAY
AND WHEN Y0U BEEN DOWN THAT ROAD YOU KNOW YOU ALWAYS GET BACK
AND THAT GUY U LOVE WILL STILL BE THERE
CROOKED GRIN AND STRAW HAT
SO WHEN U GET ALL JUMBLED FOR THEM THAT’S A BIG MISTAKE
THEY WANT YOU TO BE CONSISTANT, FOREVER STRONG
AND LEAD THE WAY
WHAT U ARE TELLING THEM IS YOU THINK THEY ARE WEAK
AND THAT YOU RUN THEIR LIFE AND THAT THERE IS NO NEED TO SPEAK
MAYBE THEY FEEL THE SAME WAY AS YOU AND MAYBE SHE DON’T
BUT YOU’LL NEVER NOT THAT WITH IF YOU CAN’T INCLUDE HER OR BECAUSE U WON’T
ITS FUNNY HOW SOME PEOPLE REACT
TO RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS, THE TIP OF A HAT
JUST BECAUSE SHE KNOWS ME AND KNOW HER TOO
AND SHE’S ELSEWHERE WITH SOMEONE JUST DOING WHAT SHE BELIEVES IS TRUE
FOR HERSELF AND NOT YOU OR ME BUDDY THAT’S WHAT U CAN’T SEE
I’M NOT STEALING FROM YOU OR HER ITS ABOUT SHARING SOME TIME
AND GIVING WHAT U CAN AT ANY OLD TIME
AND U DON’T HAVE TO DO THE SAME AND SHE DON’T HAVE TO TOO
ITS NOT ABOUT PAYING BACK, OR FEELING SAD, ITS JUST THINGS WE DO
A FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T END JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS MOVED ON
TO DIFFERENT TOWNS, AND CITIES, OR IN SOMEONE ELSE’S ARMS
HER AND I ARE SPECIAL IN THAT ITS OUR TWO HEART
THAT ARE TOGETHER EVEN WHEN WE ARE APART
AND GETTING MAD, AND ANGRY, AND JEALOUS ABOUT THAT IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN’T DO
ITS NOT A THREAT BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU
SHE HAS HER OWN SPECIAL PLACE FOR YOU, HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS
ITS NOT LIKE EVRYONE ONLY HAS ROOM FOR ONE IN THEIR HEART
THERE’S LOTS OF ROOM IN THERE FOR PEOPLE ONLY THE ONES SHE REALLY WANTS

THAT’S WHERE YOU ARE WRONG – I KNOW HER WELL
AND I DON’T WANT TO OWN HER, SHE’S NOT BOUGHT AND SOLD
SHE’S JUST SOMEONE SPECIAL, SOMEONE WORTH FIGHTING FOR
NOT LIKE A POSSESSION, OR SOMETHING I NEED
JUST BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS
THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT
SO JUST BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN HER
AND STAND AT HER SIDE
DOESN’T MEAN THAT
I MAKE UP HER MIND
I JUST GIVE HER
WHATEVER SHE WANTS
FROM ME
NOTHING NEEDED
IN
RETURN


This letter is a little kiss on the back of the neck for only one person
And her name is Anne and its from a friend that was a boy but is now a man named Joe

SEE NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE NEEDS SPACE
ITS NOT THAT SHE WANTS IT
IT’S NOT UP TO HER
BECAUSE WHEN EVERYTHING AROUND U IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL
YOU DO THE THINGS THAT U CAN NO MATTER WHAT
AND THAT WHY I’VE NEVER STOP HER FROM DOING THESE THINGS
THAT’S WHY I DO WHAT I CAN LET HER SEE THAT I KNOW
WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON UNDER THE SKIN
HOW OTHERS MAY THINK THAT BEING ALONE IN A ROOM IS BAD
BUT THAT’S WHEN YOU FINALLY GET THE CHANCE TO LET THOUGHTS FLOW OUT
THAT’S WHEN U DON’T NEED SLEEP, OR BRIGHT LIGHTS OR ANY MORE NOISE
YOU JUST NEED A GUY NAMED JOE THAT COMES IN AND OUT OF THE ROOM
WHEN U NEED KISS, A KICK IN THE BUT, A SMILE AND A HAND
AND IT CAN BE MONEY, LISTENING, PLAYING IN A BAND
IT NOT WHAT IT IS ITS ABOUT WHAT ITS ABOUT
I UNDERSTAND AND GIVE HER HER SPACE
THIS IS PROBABLY WHY SHE HAD A PLACE AT 17
AND WHY SHE’S LIVED LIFE 5 TIMES OVER AND SEEN THINGS OTHERS WILL NEVER SEE
AND TO ME THAT’S SOMETHING SPECIAL AND I LONG TO HEAR ALL ABOUT HER ADVENTURES, TRAVELS, LOVERS AND MORE
BECAUSE SHE KNOW IF I COULD JOIN HER AND HOLD HER HAND INSIDE HER MIND
AND WOULD
SO THIS IS
THE NEXT
BEST
THING
THAT’S WHY SHE HAS ACCESS TO EVERYTHING, EVERY PART OF MY LIFE
AND I LET HER CONTROL THAT PART THAT BELONGS TO HER
THAT’S WHAT LOVE CAN DO


Tommmmypetty’sbipolarbuizzsongs

You know , sometimes, I dont know why,
But this old town just seems so hopeless
I aint really sure, but it seems I remember the good times
Were just a little bit more in focus

But when she puts her arms around me,
I can, somehow, rise ab ove it
Yeah man, when I got that little girl standing right by my side,
You know, I can tell the whole wide world, shove it,

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl,
Yeah, she looks so right, shes all I need tonight

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day,
Ill have to stop, ask myself, whatve I done?
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard,
And nothin ever really seem to come from it

And then she looks m e in the eye, says, we gonna last forever,
And man, you know I cant begin to doubt it
No, because this feels so good and so free and so right,
I know we aint never goin change our minds about it

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl,
Yeah, she looks so right, shes all I need tonight

Yeah, every time it seems like there aint nothin left no more,
I find myself havin to reach out and grab hold of somethin
Yeah, I just catch myself wonderin, waitin, worryin
About some silly little things that dont add up to nothin.

And then she looks me in the eye, says, we gonna last forever,
And man, you know I cant begin to doubt it
No, because this feels so good and so free and so right,
I know we aint never goin change our minds about it.

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl,
Yeah, she looks so right, shes all I need tonigh
Oh baby dont it feel like heaven right now
Dont it feel like somethin from a dream
Yeah Ive never known nothing quite like this
Dont it feel like tonight might never be again
We know better than to try and pretend
Baby no one could have ever told me bout this

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Well yeah I might have chased a couple of women around
All it ever got me was down
Then there were those that made me feel good
But never as good as I feel right now
Baby youre the only one thats ever known how
To make me wanna live like I wanna live now

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more ca rd
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Dont let it kill you baby, dont let it get to you
Dont let em kill you baby, dont let em get to you
Ill be your breathin heart, Ill be your cryin fool
Dont let this go to far, dont let it get to you

I HAVE A bipolarGURLFRIEND. we aRE NOT ALWAYS IN THE SAME PLACE, so we LEAVE LITTLE LOVE LETTERS - IT HELPS US GET THRU THE DAY. SHE IS A
SAVIOURS DAUGHTER, feel like a can WALK ON WATER, WHEN I FEEL HER SWEET LIPS KISSING MINE.

5:10 PM  

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