Saturday, December 02, 2006

Words that make me puke

Ever heard of health, or 'healthy'?

Me too.

So what the fuck is all this with 'wellness' and 'healthful'?

Eh?

Maybe they are real words in America although God knows why, but here in the UK they are pointless flim-flam. Oh they might convey a meaning, but then so did Slithy Toves after C S Lewis was done with them. I mean to say, I could go for a bit of gimbling myself, when the temperature's right. Who needs a borogrove?

If anyone knows the difference between healthful and healthy, please tell me because I don't get it and now the former makes me shudder every time I hear it. Thats just the way it is.

But it gets worse.

You'd imagine that 'wellness' meant 'health', wouldn't you?

Not exactly so.

At least it does in the general way of things, but not in the specifics. Legally, technically, 'wellness' is not equated to health.

This is why people (say, for arguments' sake, Herbalife reps) can accost you at, ooh, lets see, your daughter's School Christmas fair and pester to be able to give you a 'Wellness Check'.
In other words, people who would be in serious trouble for giving you an unqualified, uninsured health check can legally 'give' you this other thing instead.

They don't even get hauled up for misleading people into buying vitamins, although many must wrongly assume that wellness = health and I imagine that many reps bank on just that.

For 'wellness' I no longer simply cringe at the word, but also at the potential to hear it. In the same way that refusing to look at a cat will have said feline approach you double fast, so I find that blanching to a greeny grey at the sight of a 'wellness' salesperson will have them hone in on you as a sure thing faster than you can say "Oh shit".

It's hell. You know those people you hear about but never see, who supposedly lost the plot in the middle of the local supermarket and went from mild mannered nobody to straightjacket customer? One day;......... one day someone is going to smilingly suggest I purchase the latest health drink - donkey urine and dolphin snot, say, and it wont matter to me one jot that they are off their tree. If they try, however, to tell me it would have a healthful effect on my wellness, I may very well end up rocking in some padded corner for years and years to come. As to their survival rate; I don't pretend to make any guarantees.

5 Comments:

Blogger zilla said...

Wellness bugs me.

Healthful bugs me.

HowEVER, AHERM, you KNOW I am constantly hounding my family about improving their "wellness" by eating "healthfully." I just do so without using those words.

I say things like, "What? No green beans for you? But you have an exam in History tomorrow, and green beans are chock full of folic acid, and folic acid promotes the proper functioning of your brain, so don't be a bread-n-butter gobbing fat-head, eat your goddamned beans, and eat them NOW, if you know what's good for you!"

So who's more endearing, Foodzilla, or the Herbalife rep? Hmmmmm???

7:34 PM  
Anonymous Firelight said...

Preposterous!! Do they really use those words??
I've never come across these words though I work with these Americans. I guess, its cos I never go about asking on "wellness" of their family. :D

10:47 PM  
Blogger fineartist said...

I have a friend who was fighting cancer. He's totally in remission now and doing well, but anyway, he spent all kinds of money on really strange possible cures, one of them being donkey piss.

No kidding.

I couldn't bring myself to ask if he drank it or wore it topically.

I suppose I'll never know now, because when I ask him about it he just looks at me and shakes his head, and threatens to bring up some of the stupid--though few, hah--things I've done.

Thinking about it, herbalife sort of tastes like donkey piss smells, if I recall, the shakes anyway.

12:12 AM  
Blogger Rain said...

there is a lot of bullcrap out there, you have to be a very educated consumer. I was trying to decide if it was you or Zilla before I got to end. the style was you, but the topic threw me. this is fun.

2:59 PM  
Blogger beckyboop said...

I think these terms are used for the people that already have good health to be weller. hee hee

12:01 AM  

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